Category: BF NEWS

Becky’s Fund on FOX 5 for Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month and an opportunity to discuss what emotional abuse is and its impact on mental health.

Thank you to Fox5DC for allowing Becky’s Fund to highlight the importance of addressing emotional abuse as it is often a precursor to future abuse and can take a devastating toll on one’s mental health. Emotional abuse can look as obvious as verbal abuse but also be as subtle as gaslighting and love-bombing, wearing down the person, causing them to lose self-confidence, self-esteem, become emotionally dependent on the abuser, and often lose the confidence and courage needed to leave. Remember, no one deserves to be hurt by the person they love.

Becky’s Fund has partnered with Silver Mirror

In honor of May, Mental Health Awareness Month, Becky’s Fund has partnered with Silver Mirror to raise awareness of the importance of self-care when managing mental health. 

A portion of the proceeds from every Silver Mirror Brightening Facial will be donated to Becky’s Fund to support their work ending and preventing domestic violence. 

Book your service now!

Congress has passed the Bipartisan Safer Communities Act

For Immediate Release

Washington, D.C. June 24, 2022

Becky’s Fund is overjoyed with the news that Congress has passed the Bipartisan Safer Communities Act. This bipartisan piece of legislation is the first significant gun control bill in more than three decades. The bill, authored by Senators Cornyn (R-Texas) and Murphy (D-Conn.), passed a key test vote Tuesday night in the Senate. Fourteen Senate Republicans voted to begin debate on the 80-page measure, which has been worked on over the last two weeks of bipartisan negotiations. Republican Senators who joined Cornyn in voting to move forward with debate on the bill were Sens. Blunt (Mo.), Burr (N.C.),  Capito (W.Va.), Cassidy (La.), Collins (Maine), Ernst (Iowa), Graham(S.C.),McConnell (Ky.),

Murkowski (Alaska), Portman (Ohio), Romney (Utah), Tillis (N.C.), Young (Ind.), and Toomey (Pa). The bill includes policy provisions to support the implementation of “red flag” laws, strengthen background check and licensing requirements, and invest in school safety and mental health care. To the surprise and delight of Democrats and domestic violence advocates, the proposal also includes the long-awaited closing of the “boyfriend loophole.”

Under the current federal law, the Violence Against Women Act prohibits abusers from receiving or possessing a firearm, but only if they have been married to, have lived with, or have a child with the victim. The law does not prohibit abusive dating partners from owning firearms. This gap, known as the “boyfriend” loophole, has become increasingly deadly, as the number of homicides committed by dating partners has been growing steadily for decades. Previous attempts to close the loophole were dropped in order to assure reauthorization. The newly passed legislation, however, would prohibit those convicted of misdemeanor domestic violence crimes from owning firearms for at least five years, depending on if they have committed other crimes following their conviction. Those charged with felonies will have their gun rights stripped indefinitely. Making it more difficult for abusers to purchase guns would grant survivors a better chance of safely leaving their abusive relationship.

There is no denying the prevalence of gun violence in the United States, and, unfortunately, women are disproportionately affected. American women are 21 times more likely to be murdered with guns than women in other high income countries. Firearms are used in nearly 54% of female homicides, with the highest frequency among Black women. Domestic violence is the underlying common denominator in these murders. According to Everytown for Gun Safety, the chance of intimate partner femicide is 5 times more likely if the abuser has access to a gun. And, an average of 70 women are fatally shot by an intimate partner across the country every month. A woman is shot to death by an intimate partner every 14 hours, totalling 600 women shot to death every year.

It is not enough to simply protect survivors from their current or former abusive spouses. Domestic Violence extends well beyond the confines of marriage illustrated by the Department of Justice statistic that nearly half of all women killed by intimate partners are victims of a dating partner. Since the 1990s, the number of domestic violence incidents between dating partners has increased drastically. A study in Philadelphia found that 82% of intimate partner violence incidents reported in the city were between dating partners. As Robert Spitzer, a professor at SUNY Cortland stated, “A marriage license shouldn’t be the line where authorities can weigh in.

Mass shootings also often have a domestic violence component, with the non-partisan group Everytown for Gun Safety noting that in 68% of mass shootings between 2014 and 2019, the shooter had a history of domestic violence and shot a current or former intimate partner or family member as part of the rampage. Studying mass shootings reveals overwhelming evidence demonstrating how critical it is to keep guns out of the hands of domestic violence abusers. Senator Amy Klobuchar noted, “The states that have closed the loophole have seen a 13% reduction in intimate partner violence.” Closing the boyfriend loophole would result in fewer homicides and remove barriers that prevent survivors from being able to leave their abusers.

Even with the recent reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act, there is still some ambiguity in the current law’s language defining who is classified as a domestic abuser and what counts as domestic violence. Domestic violence can take the form of financial abuse, emotional abuse, stalking, and many other types of violence, and not just physical harm. The definition varies from state to state and if the federal law does not define the types of actions that make up domestic violence, then there will continue to be inconsistency over who can be convicted and lose their right to own a firearm. The new proposal does clarify that convicted domestic violence abusers and individuals who are subject to a final protective order will be added to the National Instant Criminal Background Check System run by the FBI, including romantic partners. When added to this database, these individuals will be denied when attempting to purchase a firearm.

Thirty-two states and D.C. have already passed laws to address the boyfriend loophole, offering some guidance for federal legislation. California included “any current or former dating partner” in their law’s definition of domestic violence and who is classified as an abuser. If the abuse is filed as a felony, the perpetrator receives a lifetime ban on gun possession. However, if the abusive crime is filed as a misdemeanor, which domestic violence often is, the perpetrator will only receive a ten year firearms ban.

These state laws closing the boyfriend loophole have had a significant impact on domestic violence related homicides. A study by the American Journal of Epidemiology demonstrated a 16% decrease in intimate partner homicides on account of state laws barring dating partners from owning a firearm after receiving a protection order. Further, when the law details the implementation of removing firearms after the issuance of a protection order, larger reductions in intimate partner homicide are seen compared to when enforcement tactics are not included in the bill.

On the contrary, the past decade has also seen a number of states, including Missouri and Wyoming, create legislation that nullifies federal gun reform. These “second amendment preservation acts” prohibit any state or local law enforcement from enforcing federal gun control laws. Of the ten states that hold variations of this type of law, abusers are still capable of purchasing firearms. According to the Center for Disease Control, Missouri and Wyoming have some of the highest rates of firearm homicide in 2020. It is yet to be seen how these recently-developed laws have impacted survivors of domestic violence.

Becky’s Fund, a non-profit dedicated to ending domestic violence, is currently working with a survivor of abuse who is living in fear with her child due to her dating partner’s access to a gun. He was recently granted a permit without a background check, leaving the survivor terrified to even attempt to leave the abusive situation. And even when the abuser does not actively use a gun, the threats of violence and use of the firearm are common means of coercive control and emotional abuse that continue to paralyze the survivor from leaving.

The boyfriend loophole failed to protect unmarried survivors facing abuse for decades. “Closing the ‘boyfriend loophole’ keeps the focus where it belongs — on the bad behavior rather than on the nature of the relationship between the two parties,” said Susan Sorenson, a professor of social policy at the University of Pennsylvania. As long as it is properly and consistently enforced, The Bipartisan Safer Communities Act will take the fundamental steps needed to keep guns out of the hands of people with dangerous histories. The new bill will expand current law so that those in “serious dating relationships” who are convicted of domestic abuse would be prevented from purchasing a gun. The federal government is taking responsibility to protect its citizens and help them live free from gender-based violence and we know that this bill will protect women and girls from gun violence. We thank Congress for closing the boyfriend loophole. This action will undoubtedly save thousands of lives.

Read the original release here

Becky’s Fund is proud to announce receiving the MLB-MLBPA Healthy Relationships Community Grant to support Men of CODE

Becky’s Fund is proud to announce receiving the MLB-MLBPA Healthy Relationships Community Grant to support Men of CODE.

The CDC states that teaching youth healthy relationship skills protects against risk factors of domestic violence and promotes expectations for healthy relationships. Becky’s Fund created Men of CODE to engage and empower young men to recognize how to build healthy relationships and be allies to women and girls in the prevention of intimate partner violence.

Men Of CODE represents Men of Character and Ownership, Dedicated to Leading by Example. Men of CODE will equip these young men with the skills and build self-esteem to become leaders in their communities, lead by examp le in building healthy relationships, and learn how to be an accountable bystander to prevent violence against women and girls.

The joint donation for the “Healthy Relationships Community Grant” represents an ongoing commitment by MLB and the MLBPA to provide support to causes that assist vulnerable populations. This grant will provide $3 million in funding in 2020 and ’21 to organizations that advocate for positive relationship practices through critical services for vulnerable populations and those affected by domestic violence.

Thank you, MLB & MLBPA, for the Healthy Relationships Community Grant and enabling Becky’s Fund to build more MEN of CODE in 2021.

Read the full press release

Believing Survivors. Men of CODE. Gratitude.

News Highlight: Increased Sexual Assault Allegations 

Click On the Image Above to Listen to a Survivor Addressing #MeToo and Domestic Violence

For every 1000 rapes: 230 are reported to the police, 46 reports lead to arrest, 9 cases get referred to prosecutors, 5 cases lead to felony convictions, and 4.6 rapists will be incarcerated (RAINN). Domestic violence affects all of us and it’s time we change the conversation around gender-based violence and speak out as one. Stand with us in amplifying the voices of survivors and activists.

Event Recap: Anchyi Wei X Mindy Lam Collab Collection Reveal

It was great seeing all of you at The Moxy for their opening weekend and for the exciting collaboration between fashion and lifestyle influencer Anchyi Wei, and couture jeweler Mindy Lam! A portion of the proceeds from the weekend went to Becky’s Fund! You can continue to support our work through the purchase of Mindy Lam’s “Victim to Victor”collection located at mindylamcouture.com

#TogetherWeCan

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Thank you for helping us reach our fundraising goal this Giving Tuesday. Together, we raised over $20,000 that will go towards expanding our programs and continuing to support survivors.

Be A Part of Changing the Conversation on Domestic Violence

Are you interested in mentorship and working with Men of CODE? Join us on Tuesday, January 22nd for our first informational session for Men of CODE Mentors. Find out how you can be a part of our journey in ending domestic violence through mentorship, and supporting a young man in his development and his journey to become an ally to women and girls.

Please email info@beckysfund.org to sign up and to get more information.

Save the Date: February 23

 

1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18 years old.

Through our “Becoming Your Own Heroine” Program, we train and educate young women from 9- 18 years old on healthy relationships, self-empowerment, artistic expression, and self-defense. Stay tuned for more details on our first workshop of 2019 on February 23rd!

Email to sign up, volunteer or sponsor the workshop at info@beckysfund.org.

Make your Holiday Shopping Go Further

Don’t forget – an easy way to support Becky’s Fund this holiday is to shop through Amazon Smile where a portion of your sale will be donated every time you shop!

We hope that you will consider making your year-end gift to Becky’s Fund and joining us in our mission to end and prevent domestic violence. Your donation is tax-deductible to the extent as allowed by law.

 

Giving thanks to you in advance,
The Becky’s Fund Team

Anchyi Wei + Mindy Lam Collection Reveal at The Moxy Hotel

Join the MOXY for their opening weekend and the reveal of fashion and lifestyle influencer Anchyi Wei and artist and couture jeweler Mindy Lam on their new collaboration!

Experience DC’s trendiest new hotel while shopping Anchyi and Mindy’s show-stopping collection of statement jewels, perfect for this season’s holiday parties.

A portion of the proceeds will benefit Becky’s Fund in our efforts to end domestic violence.

Save the Date: Giving Tuesday 11.27.2018

This #GivingTuesday, we invite you to join Becky’s Fund in our effort to end and prevent domestic violence. Your donation will make an impact whether you give $5 or $100. Every little bit helps.

On average, 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States — more than 12 million women and men over the course of a year. 1 in 3 women have experienced domestic violence, sexual assault, and/or stalking by a current or former intimate partner. Will you help us change these statistics?

Support Becky’s Fund this upcoming #GivingTuesday, November 27 & help us raise critical funds to continue our youth prevention work through Men of CODE and support survivors and their families to leave safely and permanently from abuse.

Starting at 8 am EST on Nov 27, Paypal will generously match all donations – up to 7 Million – made on Facebook to Becky’s Fund. So please consider donating AND your gift will make twice the impact to #enddv 🙌

Please DONATE through this fundraiser this Tuesday, November 27 for Giving Tuesday or you can donate on our website if you do not have Facebook.

Thank you in advance for your support in ending and preventing domestic violence.

**Note this is an online event.

Climb To End Domestic Violence!

Get ready to sweat! Join Becky’s Fund at PULSE House of Fitness for a workout that will bring you closer to your fitness goals, and bring us closer to our goal to end and prevent domestic violence by supporting our Men of CODE program and bringing Men of CODE to four more schools in 2019.

 

Experience PULSE House of Fitness, DC’s first and only VersaClimber Studio! The VersaClimber has an upper-body climber and a lower-body stepper to work your whole body and all your major muscle groups. You can burn about 500 calories per class with PULSE’s challenging and efficient cardio and strength training workouts. And, their workouts are only 30 minutes long and are set to energizing music and lead by equally energizing coaches to make sure that you push yourself and enjoy your workout.

 

What are you waiting for? Climb for a cause and #nevermissabeat!

 

Reserve Your Spot Now!

Empowered: Stories of Resilience and Healing

Survivors at Becky's Fund's 2018 Walk This Way

Kena

 

As I reflect back to that time of my life, feelings of embarrassment, fear and helplessness could not escape me. I became one with these feelings and struggled to find Kena in the sea of these emotions. I went from being a professional athlete to a bruised and empty shell.

The struggle to continuously have a smile for the world while covering my pain and bruises with makeup was a battle I fought everyday. I hated the person I had become. I did not know I was 1 in 4. I felt invisible and became another number to the world.

While plotting my escape, I stayed in my abuse for 6 months more than I should have. If only I had known of Becky’s Fund. Becky’s Fund was the saving grace that I needed and the fresh start I desperately sought for. Becky’s Fund provides survivors with the strength and opportunity to help others find their light and strength to leave.

As a mom to a teenage boy, I am extremely grateful for Becky’s passion and desire to educate young men (through Men Of CODE) on domestic violence and healthy masculinities. It is our responsibility to raise men who respect the voice and integrity of women.

When it’s all been said and done, I AM RESILIENT! I stand taller and stronger than ever. Thanks to Becky’s Fund I am able to be a light for others and THAT feels amazing!

 

Victoria

 

I reflect back when I felt vulnerable, trapped and hopeless.

Social Media was starting to become popular and it was helping to feed the ego of this person who did so much wrong. He posted the picture perfect of an untouchable extravagant life that was a lie and it was so powerful that I thought my voice was going to be taken as a joke.

When I finally had the courage to ask for help, Becky’s Fund became my safe haven through which I was able to find myself. The wonderful soul I had once lost. They gave me a hand and a shoulder to cry on when I needed. Becky’s Fund helped me to become the woman who I am today and the role model that I want my future children to aspire to be.

For this, and so much more, I say thank you.

Radiance

 

At my lowest, feelings of isolation consumed me. I felt inadequate and I had allowed myself to believe that I lacked purpose. The beauty that I am had become invisible to me, and my bruised heart would only allow me to see the scars on my body.

Knowledge is power and Becky’s Fund became the light in my darkest hour. The knowledge given to me at Becky’s Fund empowered me to believe that I am more than a statistic of domestic abuse. Becky’s Fund filled me with hope, love and strength to overcome any obstacle in my life.

I am a survivor. I am a champion of peace. I am a warrior of harmony. I am a beacon of light to those whose flame may seem dim. I am not a statistic. I am a limited edition and I have purpose!

Sebastian

 

My name is Sebastien Courret and I am a survivor of domestic violence. Domestic violence does not discriminate based on gender, race nor social standing. It can affect anybody and everybody.

Five years ago, I almost lost my life because I asked for a divorce from my ex-husband. Before I passed out he said to me, “If I cannot have you, then no one else will.” He was ready to kill me.

As I lay on the floor broken and beaten, I thought to myself “this could be the last image my parents remember, my dead body lying on the floor.” This incident was not the first, but it was definitely the last. I had once missed the signs as I made excuses for the many times I was striked. No More!

Domestic violence can be prevented, but we all have to put in the work. Tonight, as we commit towards ending domestic violence, I implore you to dig deep and donate towards Becky’s Fund and the Men of CODE program that educates our young men on healthy masculinity and domestic violence.

Thank you!

Lizette

 

I reflect back to when I believed the stigma that “I had asked for it.” It took me years to be able to look in the mirror and not see the bruises around my next still, or to not characterize that as a self-inflicted wound.

A favorite phrase in my family growing up, “behavior was described as a self-inflicted wound to describe anything that could have been avoided if only it had been thought through more. That night I saw the red flags and had my gut warned me otherwise that I was too weak to extricate myself from the situation in time.

From that moment, I always saw myself as a passive player in this world where things were done to me rather than of my own agency. And I am irrevocably changed as a result of that night. Where I once was spontaneous, I now have the desire to control even the most minor details.

But I am continually striving. Striving to be a better person, to notice those around me who may also be hurting Striving to be more confident in my life and my choices. Striving to remember that this does not define me. When i have flashbacks or nightmares, that is not indicative of weakness.

Becky’s Fund gave me an outlet to realize that while each survivor’s story is different, there are common themes binding us all, and with that realization comes healing.

Jessica

 

Manipulated, hollow and extinguished. This is how I felt as I endured abuse at the hands of a man who vowed to love and cherish me “for better or worse.” It felt like a dream but, in reality it truly was happening and I did not know how to get out. I kept a perfect appearance to hide what was really going on. On the inside, I felt like I was twisted in knots, lost at where to begin to try and comb it all out.

People often question how and why survivors did not see the signs and leave before it even began. The one thing I can say to this is that the words ‘violent’, ‘abusive’, ‘manipulative’, and the many more used to describe abusers are not written on the forehead of anybody. Especially not the person who claims to love you.

Becky’s Fund fund provided the empathy I desperately search for and needed to get out of the situation and ultimately save myself. The woman that stands before the world today is awakened to her inner ability and strength. She is stronger than ever and values every inch of who she is, flaws and all. Thank you Becky, for giving me the opportunity to see my inner strength in a moment when doubt and fear clouded my judgement and sense of self.

Laura

 

I reflect to when I constantly felt like I was living a lie. I was keeping a seemingly perfect appearance to hide what was really happening everyday. I was no longer myself. I was hollow and extinguished. It felt as though my thoughts and feelings were tangled up inside of me. The knots were so large I had no idea where to begin to untangle it. Everyday was a survival of a walking nightmare. I never slept because if I did, I was afraid of what I would wake up to. My experience ran through the entire spectrum of abuse – mental, financial, physical and sexual. It wasn’t until I had my daughter that my survival and maternal instincts finally awakened me to what was happening and what I needed to do – get us out and above all, protect her from harm.